2011: A Whirlwind.

That's the only word to describe the past year. I've never had a year where so much has happened and my life has changed so much. Okay, I guess 2010 was when all the major things changed, but this year was the aftermath and let me tell you, it was rough. I had a blast though! I got closer than ever to Thomas :) Made a new best friend, Chelsea. Got my first 4.0. Saw more concerts than ever. Cried less. Learned even more about myself than I thought possible. Discovered the joys of blogging through blogger and tumblr. Found the amazing things Pinterest has to offer. Started an new old job. Worked more than I ever have during the summer. And began to love new things and get over old things. (Or people, we could say.)

Those are just a few things to describe the year, but really it was crazy. I don't even know how the beginning of the 2011 and now can even be in the same year. At the beginning I was dating Taylor (sort of), hating school (that didn't change), and confused on what my future would hold. Now, and towards the end of the year I still hated school, am single, and am more certain on what I want in my future, but there are still some large variables.  In a lot of ways 2011 was great for me. I moved on from someone who was quite literally my entire world and realized that it's more important right now for me to be my world.

I struggled and struggled with whether I want to teach and now I think that I know I want to. Thank you to Mrs. Wright's 5th grade class that I'm going to student teach with in the Spring. I am still moving on from the pains of the past couple years and I don't know how long it's going to take me to trust again. I don't cry half as much as I used to, unless I'm being an emotional freak and decide to cry during previews and the entire movie, The Help. I think I became numb from everything and everyone that was lying, manipulating, and hurting me the last couple years. It's finally caught up to me and made me much more careful about the people I truly let in. I'm not actually sure if I have really let anyone in in a very long time. I've learned to love the little things. I don't know if I would say "appreciate" the little things though. I love a simple picture or quote. I love hearing my niece, Ellie, call me "Paigey". I love the conversations I have with Thomas till 3AM. I'm just not sure if I've fully come to appreciate the little things in my life that have always been there. I know more recently that I am truly lucky for the parents and family that I have, as much as I complain about them, they are great to me. I know that I am more blessed than the majority of the people in this entire world are. I just need to be more appreciative of these things on a daily basis, not just during a little reflection of my life. Speaking of, I have reflected this year. I have learned to think about exactly what I'm doing and what it is doing for me. I can thank the education program for that.

I think the most important thing I have come to realize this year among of this is that I am young. I'm only 21 years old. I am graduating in April (HOLLA!) and I still have my whole life ahead of me. Now, having said that I don't want to take this time for granted. I am trying to enjoy my days doing what I love. Which usually consists of hanging out with Thomas ALL THE TIME. Yes, please! I just want to remember this time of my life and I want to be happy that I spent it doing things that are fun. There is a lot of pressure around this time in life and there are a lot of expectations from different people, that frankly aren't even entitled to expect shit from me. These expectations are effing ridiculous too. That's why I am trying to embrace the fact that I am 21, single, about to graduate, with more options than ever in my near, near future.

2011 has taught me to embrace the time I have and enjoy it. Do the things you love is basically my new motto and the one I've tried to live by this year. Obviously I have done school and work, but that in the long run is helping me be able to do the things I love.

I am really excited about 2012. Thomas has always said it will be a good year and he is usually pretty spot on about these things, it's actually a little freaky. But I think that 2012 will bring just what I have said: Opportunity, excitement, and hopefully a bright future. It's going to be a hard year, full of a lot of work and dedication, but it is also going to be a defining year in my life and I am excited about it. I am ready for it. Nervous, but ready. 2011 was good to me for the most part and I am ready for an even better 2012.